Candidates

Ladies and Gentlemen: In the not-too-distant future all candidates for public office will be required to run down the street naked with a detour through an X-ray machine and a functional MRI. They will need to have their Social Security Number and their bank accounts tattooed on their asses. We will force everyone to dispense with every shred of privacy and humiliate themselves completely. By doing this, we will ensure that no one who we would actually like to have in office would ever be stupid enough to run.